Insightful HUMOR can help refresh our outlook
and steer our attention toward deeper and
more essential aspects of living truly!
Join our fast-paced company We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
Some overtime required Some every night and some every weekend.
Duties will vary Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail We have no quality assurance.
Career-minded Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
Apply in person If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.
Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience You'll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
Problem-solving skills a must You're walking into perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
Good communication skills Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Praise and honor for the non-participants
29 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have bankrupted at least two businesses
3 have been arrested for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 are current defendants in lawsuits
In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of
new laws designed to keep the rest of us in line.
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our programme of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (SHIT). We are trying to give our students more SHIT than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of SHIT on the course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the SHIT list, and our lecturers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the SHIT you can handle.
Students who don't take their SHIT will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (DEEP SHIT). Those who fail to take DEEP SHIT seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (EAT SHIT). Since our lecturers took SHIT before they graduated, they don't have to do SHIT anymore, and are all full of SHIT already.
If you are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (BULL SHIT).
For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (MORE SHIT). This course emphasizes on how to manage MORE SHIT.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (HOT SHIT).
Treating students — or faculty as an underclass
does not elevate administrative power — it diminishes it.
Only when administrators work closely with students and faculty
can the benefits of organizational unity be realized.
Please remember to bookmark this web page.
Thanks for visitng!
